Ben Quayle's Grueling Daily Campaign Schedule

I don't normally publish press releases verbatim, and Tedski at Rum, Romanism, Rebellion already has this one up, but it made me laugh. 

And that makes it worth a post of its own. 

From an ADP press release, Ben Quayle's daily schedule -

Ben Quayle - Daily Campaign Schedule


10:00 – 10:30 AM: Wake-up, get ready
Notes: Out of Frosted Flakes, order the maid to go buy more -- this time with a prize!

10:30 – 11:00 AM: Web surfing time
Notes: Use new password Nik gave me to get around Dad’s cybersecurity filters

11:00 – 11:15 AM: Fundraising meeting with Dad
Reminder: Don’t ask questions. Dad gets upset.

11:15 -11:30 AM: Check schedule to see if I have time to debate
Notes: I’m really very busy

11:30 AM – 12:30 PM: Gym
Reminder: Upper body, focus on abs

12:30 – 1:00 PM: Shower
Reminder: Wear the power suit that has the shoulder pads. Gotta look grown-up.

1:00 – 2:00 PM: Lunch – Stingray Sushi
Notes: Trainer says soy paper has fewer carbs

2:00 – 2:05 PM: Check schedule to see if I have time to debate
Notes: It still feels like I’m way busy

2:05 – 2:30 PM: Private tutoring session (Arizona 101)
Reminder: Ask tutor about those cities north and west of Scottsdale.

2:30 – 2:45 PM: Tynwald Capital
Reminder: Make sure Dad’s deposit into company went through so I can collect paycheck

3:00 – 4:00 PM: Play with Louie the Dog. My favorite campaign expenditure!

4:00 – 4:30 PM: Private tutoring session (Congress 101)
Reminder: Ask tutor about D.C. club scene. It better not be lame!

4:30 -5:00 PM: Check in with Dad on fundraising
Reminder: Don’t tell Dad I plan to go out tonight

5:00 – 5:02 PM: Check schedule to see if I have time to debate
Notes: Dude, where does the time go?

5:15 – 6:15 PM: Nap

6:30 – 8:00 PM: Invite bros over to party (keep it cool. no cops)
Notes: Show them new drinking game I invented. Cross between Flip Cup and Beer Pong – Super Beer Flip Cup Pong!

8:00 – 9:30 PM: Dinner at Barcelona

10:00 – 11:30 PM: Pre-club partying
Notes: Don't post any photos to Facebook this time!

11:30 PM – 2:00 AM: Hit the Scottsdale clubs
Notes: Dad’s folks following me, can’t let them catch me out like last time. Call for black Town Car to drive me home.

2:30 AM: Maid tucks me in
Notes: Tomorrow, I’ll think some more about debating. LOL!!!

There's nothing I can add.  I'm a wiseass, but this one is out-of-my-class funny.  Probably because it's closer to the truth than the Quayle camp would care to admit...