Wednesday, April 09, 2014

2014 March Badness AZ Edition: Fourth Round and Championship

Well, we've reached the time in the whackadoodle tourney where all we have left is the Freaky Four.

People who in nearly any other state would be the "craziest of the crazy"; here, they are just among the craziest.

1AJ Lafaro


8Ally Miller


4Michele Ugenti


5Andy Biggs

Bay at the Moon - Urban
3John Kavanagh


6Russell Pearce


2John Huppenthal


7Gilbert School Board

1Al Melvin


8Adam Kwasman


4Cathi Herrod


5Chester Crandell

Bay at the Moon - Rural
3Bob Thorpe


6Jim Brown


2Don Shooter


7Brenda Barton

1Andrew Thomas


8Jim Lane


4Carl Seel


5Judy Burges

Black Helicopter
3Kelly Townsend


6Ethan Orr


2Sal DiCiccio


7Andy Tobin

1Steve Yarbrough


8Jeff Dial


4Debbie Lesko


5Rick Murphy

Go Along To Get Along
3Kelli Ward


6Kimberly Yee


2Tom Horne


7Frank Antenori


Melvin over Lafaro.  On paper, this looked to be a matchup of two equals, a la UConn vs. Notre Dame in the NCAA Women's Basketball Championship, but while Lafaro made it look close for a while, the depth and breadth of Melvin's nuttiness carried the day, and took him to victory in the "Bay at the Moon" half of the bracket.

Horne over DiCiccio.  While Horne emerged from the Go Along to Get Along region, he overcame the victor of the Black Helicopters region by demonstrating that there is a fine line between insanity and stupidity.

And he is stupid enough to keep giving his girlfriends and other women in his life taxpayer-funded jobs for which they are other than qualified.

Championship Matchup -





Al Melvin fought off the game Tom Horne to win the (least) coveted "champeenship".

The game started off relatively quietly, with Melvin opening with his constant (and rather obsequious) pandering to tea party types to try to gather their support for his candidacy for governor.

Horne stayed close by reminding people of his anti-immigrant policies and actions, both as AG and State Superintendent of Public Instruction.

It stayed neck and neck for most of the first half of their tussle, then it seemed as if Melvin drank some spiked tea, and rattled off support for white supremacists,  a proposal to ban Common Core education standards in AZ, support for using slave prison labor, turning AZ into a nuclear waste dump and using the revenue to pay for public schools, more support for white supremacists, and attacking President Barack Obama with false quotes.

That flurry propelled Melvin to a strong lead well into the second half.  Horne fought back valiantly, citing the fact that he gave his (alleged) girlfriend a publicly-funded job, committed a hit-and-run accident while leaving his (alleged) girlfriend's condo after an (alleged) nooner, was found to have violated campaign finance laws during his quest to win the AG's job during the 2010 election, and gave the wife of a political ally an unadvertised job for which she doesn't meet the minimum qualification requirements.

However, in the end, Melvin closed out the win with an interview he gave in support of the discrimination protection act, SB1062.

It was an interview that will go down in the annals of politics as the most negative of negative examples, what *not* to do while running for office.

He sounded uninformed and unintelligent, and may have been the final nail in the coffin for the bill.

Horne looked on, shrugged his shoulders, and announced that even he couldn't top that, killing a proposal by supporting it enthusiastically.

That was enough to carry Melvin, the man who would be governor, to the championship of the 2014 AZ March Badness Tournament.

He didn't even need to trot out his opposition to algebra.

Note: in most states, winning something like this would probably mean that the "winner" probably doesn't have a snowball's chance in Phoenix in July of getting his party's nomination for governor, but this is the state the elected Ev Mecham.

In other words, hold on to your hats because the ride could get a little bumpy.

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