Thursday, July 26, 2012

Dear UK, we're not all rude boors.

...OK, we can be boorish, and a little rude, but that's part of being an American, and we are a little proud of that.

However, even we draw the line at treating our best friends with contempt.  Loud shirts and loud voices are one thing; gratuitous insults are quite another.

I mean, we might argue that baseball is a far superior game to cricket, and that the Three Stooges are funnier than Benny Hill ever was (we will grant that Monty Python was just sublime).  However, we would never claim that the UK is incapable of putting on a fine Olympics.

I know Mitt Romney insulted the UK, and people in the UK are justifiably upset.

For what it's worth, many, perhaps a majority, of us here in the United States have a similarly low opinion of him.  He's insulted us many times (and keep him away from your dogs).

We won't object if you mock him as much as we do.  We would offer to let you keep him for a while (a country that's been around as long as the UK *must* have some law about insulting the head of state or something like that), but we want to send him to the dustbin of electoral history during this autumn's elections, and need his presence here.

So mock him and demand an apology, but please send him back. 

Then you can have him back.  The wait will give you time to make the darkest and dankest prison in your country, well, darker and danker.

Thank you for your patience.

In friendship,

A wiseass American blogger

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