Friday, August 24, 2012

Dear Jan Brewer, You need a geography lesson...

...some suggestions on decorum and on giving relevent answers, and a whole lot of reality checks...

This weekend, New York Times Magazine will include an interview with Arizona's own Governor Jan Brewer.

Stifle your laughter, the writer, Andrew Goldman, attempted to do a serious interview.  It's not his fault that the subject of the interview is best known for vapid answers to direct questions.

The whole piece is worth a read, if only as comic relief in preparation for next week's Republican convention in Tampa (look for full coverage on The Weather Channel :) ). 

However, here are a few of the juicy bits, in the form of an open letter to Brewer (with my snarky insightful commentary) (emphasis mine) -

Dear Governor Brewer,

You recently did an interview with the New York Times.  I'm not sure why - perhaps you thought you could school those high-falutin' Easterners with your down-home brilliance, or perhaps you were just bored (being the chief executive in a state that utilizes a weak executive model of government has its downsides.  The title is nice, but that's about it.)  Either way, some of your answers could have been a little better.  To whit -
When you signed Arizona’s immigration law in 2010, you cited concerns about growing border violence. But according to the F.B.I., violent crime dropped in Arizona almost 14 percent the previous year.

As the saying goes, there are lies, damned lies and statistics. Fifty thousand people in Mexico have been murdered. Puerto Peñasco, 60 miles south of our border, just had five people and a police officer killed. That is like part of Arizona, and it is spilling over into our state.
No Jan, Puerto Peñasco, also known as Rocky Point, is NOT a part of Arizona, nor is it "like" a part of Arizona.  Perhaps if AZ had some oceanfront property...
The photograph of you confronting the president has become quite famous. If you could do it over again, would you avoid wagging your finger?

He’s the one that chose to make a brief encounter about something petty that showed his thin skin. I agree it was unfortunate, but it happened, and I moved on.
Jan, you wrote smack about him in "your" book (it was ghost-written, but you put your name on it, so it is yours), and you created a photo op on the runway to pump sales of that book, and now you're offended that he didn't publicly kiss up to you?  Maybe one of you is being petty and thin-skinned, but it isn't President Obama...
Critics have called it the “Breathing While Brown” law.

I don’t think Americans would tolerate profiling. That’s just a red herring.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!  Who knew you were such a kidder?
You signed a law that entitles people to carry concealed guns in bars as long as they don’t drink. I wouldn’t trust myself in a bar with access to a gun.

I think a bartender knows who’s drinking and who isn’t. 
What's that got to do with anything?  And are you going to personally pay for the funerals of any bartenders/waitstaff who decline to serve an armed customer?

Oh, and remember when you dismissed FBI crime rate statistics because they didn't suit you rhetorical position ("...lies, damned lies, and statistics...")?  You undercut your own credibility with -
But a bartender wouldn’t know who’s carrying a concealed weapon.

Ninety-nine point nine percent of the people that are gun owners are very responsible.

"Ninety-nine point nine percent..."?  Either you made up a number or you are citing a study that no one else as seen or reviewed.  That's fine.  Just pick one.  Your critics can work with either, which sounds like a choice you shouldn't make, but if you don't, we'll use both.

Speaking as one of your critics, please don't choose.  I like having options.

Thank you for your time.  If you find any of these observations helpful, let me know, and I'll be happy to critique some of your other statements.  OK, I'm probably going to do that anyway. :)

Enjoy your trip to Tampa next week.  Bring your umbrella.  Maybe a row boat, too.  Trust me.

A "just trying to be helpful" kind of guy,


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