...because they could go from kissing Joe Arpaio's butt Monday to kicking themselves Wednesday...
Republican Presidential candidates Michelle Bachmann and Herman Cain spent time in Arizona Monday, kissing up to Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio and other local nativist bigwigs in separate smoochfests.
On Tuesday, Arpaio is scheduled to testify before the ethics hearing looking into the conduct of Arpaio's long-time ally, former Maricopa County Attorney Andrew Thomas.
Given the not-insignificant possibility of perjury or Arpaio invoking his right against self-incrimination, the people who spent Monday trying to get closer to Arpaio than the other R candidates could ending spending Wednesday trying to put as much distance as possible between themselves and him.
Since after February (maybe sooner!) neither one is likely to have much to do, Bachmann and Cain should plan to put out a new workout DVD - "Kissin' and Kickin'!"
Cain and Bachmann could lead their followers in an elegantly simple five-step routine -
1. Bend over and pucker up.
2. Stand up quickly and administer a palmsmack to their foreheads.
3. Jump up, whirl in the air, kicking their own butts in mid-whirl (and mid-air).
4. Upon landing, run a full speed away from the spot where they puckered up. One possible variation: if there is a full moon out, howl at it while running.
5. Repeat until exhausted or the soft-spoken folks in white coats come to take them away, ha haaa!