Leading off and playing center field, the fleet-footed rookie above
Batting second and playing second, the politically motivated investigations and indictments of Maricopa County supervisors and Arpaio political adversaries Don Stapley and Mary Rose Wilcox
Batting third and playing left field, the politicall motivated investigation of and charges levelled against a county judge who failed to kiss Arpaio's behind
Hitting cleanup and playing first, the news that Arpaio and his office misspent almost $100 million of jail funds
Hitting fifth and playing the hot corner (3rd base for the heathens out there :) ), former Chief Deputy Dave Hendershott, who's as famous for taking one for the team as he is for hitting them out of the ballpark
Batting sixth and catching, Joel Fox and the SCA laundered campaign contributions/depraved attack ad
In the seventh spot and playing shortstop, the new linchpin of Arpaio's defense, Bill Montgomery and the hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of campaign finance violations
Batting eighth and playing right field, the Taj Mahal of buses, ostensibly purchased to transport prisoners, but now used to throw loyalists under in hopes that the bodies will stave off a federal indictment
And batting ninth and pitching, the master of distraction, Joltin' (rhymes with Revoltin'), Joe Arpaio.
The MCSO scandal bench is pretty deep - dead bodies at the hands of his detention officers, millions of dollars in lawsuits, junkets to Honduras to "train" the military there, just months before a right-wing military coup there, and more await their turn at the plate.
His team does have one glaring weakness - his star relief pitcher and biggest ally at the legislature, State Senator Russell Pearce, has troubles of his own. Like a growing recall effort and a son who has been sentenced to a year in prison. Wonder if he's going to do his time in
Fortunately for Arpaio, if this lineup ever sees a game, the umpire will be a federal judge, not any of the Maricopa County judges that he has tried to intimidate.
Unfortunately for him though, if this lineup ever sees a game, the opposing team captain won't be the prosecutor he's hired for his team, it'll the the US Attorney.